After Church today, I had decided to meet up with my buddy Paddy and his sickly sister over at H. Salts for some good fish and chips and chicken strips. On the way there, I happen to be verbally harassed by a student leaning out of the window of his sister's car. Not being one to let a show of disrespect slide, I brought out my handy dandy air powered, foam nerf ball firing cannon of destruction. I chose to use the most harmless looking one for good reason. So as they passed, I lobbed a small green foam ball across the street at them. I hit them of course. It was awful gratifying. So I carried on with my business being satisfied and fully prepared for an equally satisfying meal.
I got to H. Salts without incident. No trouble there. I ordered my meal and sat down to eat and chit chat with Paddy and his sister. Good times were had. Now, while I'm in the process of eating my 3rd chicken strip, 2 cops casually stroll through the door. They lean against the trash cans and ask who's truck that is out front. I ask if they were talking about the white truck. They were not. That's when I caught a glimpse of the two squad cars surrounding my vehicle.
I told them it was my car and asked what the problem was. One continues to casually recline against the trash receptacle as her partner approaches to turn on the intimidation. I'm kind of surprised I kept my cool. He inquires as to my business with the car I shot at. Of course I'm a little surprised, but I tell them straight up that I knew them and it was a nerf gun. As soon as the word nerf gun left my lips, the other officer rolled her eyes and radioed dispatch. Apparently someone had called me in and possibly tailed me. I apologized of course, and they made sure I would never do it again. As they walked out, the third officer who was hanging outside the doors looked a little disappointed. I guess they expected me to put up a fight. No doubt they could tell I was Italian.
Of course more good times were had, as well as joking about how smoothly and speedily the Downey Police department pulled 2 squad cars to respond to a foam related drive-by. I didn't know Downey cops took that seriously. I guess I'll have to be careful when I nerf in Downey.
In case you all were wondering, this is what I choose to use when I do a drive-by:
4 comments:
"No doubt they could tell I was Italian."
HAHAHAHA This is one of the greatest stories ever! They were probably shaking in their boots...
Rightly so, Jillian. Rightly so.
way to keep your cool. i've always admired the response time of the Downey P.D. when it comes to acts of terrorism such as the shenanigan you pulled with your nerf gun. 2 minutes. impressive. much more impressive than the 2 minutes it took them to just answer their phones at 2a.m. when a hooded man was trying to get into my bedroom window at my house in munchkinland. extravagantly more impressive than the 15 minutes it took them to actually show up and shine their little flashlights around (well after trevor showed up with a machete checked the place out and left). well played, Downey P.D. Well played.
Ya, it's funny that downey was able to afford two squad cars to surround my car in a nerf related incident instead of actually trying to save somebody.
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