Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Great Nerf Adventure

I began a regular day with no intention of going on some extraordinary journey of some kind. Strutting through the perilous halls at Valley, I had no idea that one would find me. Sitting in our protective circles to ward off predators and basically any unsavory characters, our small band began the usual ritual of initiating volleys of senseless banter. We had all gone around the circle with nothing of too much worth to say before we made it to our resident Eagle, Padfoot (Kevin) Wilkinson.

Padfoot explained to us his intentions of militarizing and enhancing what firepower he had in his possession, without disclosing too many reasons for his actions of course. Knowing he is an eagle and we had no business sticking our noses into eagle business, we continued the conversation. The eagle wasn't finished. He continued to explain how we was embarking on a small expedition to request reimbursement from a vendor of the gaming sort in the halls of vanity that we call the Cerritos mall and then to begin a side quest in search of a belt clip "mini nerf gun" that retails for around 3 bucks. Knowing the mall is a treacherous place, I immediately volunteered to accompany him on his journey. He later filled me in on the second stop of our journey so that I could make the necessary arrangements. And so we set off from Valley with 3 in our party total. The addition of his "sickly" sister was a bit of a bother, but we made it to our first destination without fail. After a bit of haggling and threatening on our parts, reimbursement was achieved and we headed out of the purveyor of eye cancer and Japanese kid seizures and on to parts unknown.

After heading out, we discussed the possibility of said "nerf gun" being right under our noses and decided to search the local toy store for it. No success; we skirted over to the dog in a box store next door and tapped on the glass boxes for awhile and then headed out once again. No matter, the decision was made that we would search the Target greatlands for it and succeed. And so we searched. I some how got separated from the Eagle and was left to care for his "sick" sister who was antagonizing me and basically making fun of me the whole time. Being distracted, I was unaware of finding some one I knew stalking the toy aisles of Target. Feeling rather foolish of being caught off guard, I gave them a friendly smile and "hey guys, what's up?" and waited till they went their own way before continuing my search for the Eagle. The Eagle was found, but the gun was not. On wards and forwards.

Not being the kind to easily admit defeat, Padfoot took some expert advice from me and decided to venture down to TOYSRUS and continue the search there. I was a little hesitant however. After being caught on camera in a friendly duel of gentle men with foam swords and batons, I had been quickly asked to stop by their friendly yet weakly looking personnel who shooed us off with a swift "throat slitting" motion. I was a little nervous of getting into a confrontation with the security man because I did not want to embarrass him in front of Jeffrey the giraffe, so I used my expert stealth and craftily located the nerf gun rack. No dice. Onwards again.

Being clearly frustrated, the Eagle tore off his set course and into the parking lot, swerving past pedestrians and yelling at his annoying sister in the back as he secured a suitable parking spot. We dashed headlong into the Target of downey (right across from golf and stuff) and searched for the gun. No luck. We were all in dire need of sustenance by then so we decided to rest for awhile at the Eagle's nest. After consuming some food and getting our energy back up, Padfoot and I went on alone and decided to hit two more destinations before ending the journey.
We checked the Walmart that is a walk away from my house and found the gun surprisingly missing. What was a bigger surprise for us was that the Target that was close by was an almost exact replica of the one in downey, down to the same placement of certain merchandise. To our dismay the gun was not found there either. We cut the journey and headed home, with only sore feet and damaged egos.

Some time in the future I will be posting about my adventures at Project Nehemiah with Padfoot and Sarah S. ( as soon as I get some pics from Padfoot, who is getting them from Nehemiah boss man dude.)

8 comments:

Milky said...

A sad day indeed. How hard is it to get a freaking nerf gun around here?!

Cory said...

pretty hard I guess.

Bethany said...

hahahaha that was exciting! good luck with the nerf gun.

Cory said...

well I am not the one searchin' for it. my buddy padfoot in the post at the top is.

Amy said...

haha!!! "sickly sister"

nathan118 said...

Quite exciting! (and thanks for finally posting something of a writing nature!)

Why exactly does Kevin want a nerf gun so badly?

Cory said...

to modify his other nerf gun to be able to shoot 2 darts at the same time.

jasonlparks said...

I will kill you all