Timid Soul

I tend to look before leaping. By look, I mean observe from a safe distance via satellite imagery. This isn't always such a bad thing, but I tend to steer clear of taking risks. Any risk. For fear of failure. This is especially detrimental for one such as myself. I tend to dream big, and like any dreamer I'd like to see my dreams become a reality. In order for that to happen, however, I must first act on them. Something I don't often do because not failing is easier than failing. So my dreams languish on the back-burner like so many Big Macs, or pretty much everything at your local McDonalds.

       I also tend to avoid risks like the plague because I feel like taking risks is sometimes illogical. I'd like to think I'm a logical person, but I'm pretty sure I have this whole risk thing all backwards. In any case, the risks I avoid a lot tend to be stupid, and those are the exact things that Middle School and High School kids do, so if I ever want to be successful in Youth Ministry I've got to be there in the trenches with them. If you know anything about Youth Ministry, or anything about kids even that idea is particularly scary.

To summarize: I'm a big Sissy-la la. I'd rather hide under the covers than appreciate the life and opportunities God has put in front of me. There seems to be a shortage of  reckless abandonment in my life. That's not good. I feel like we were created to toss ourselves recklessly into the great unknown, allowing God to cushion our fall in what ever degree he sees fit, which allows us to observe the dangers and mysteries of our lives and our creator this way. And if any one is dangerous and mysterious, it's God. You don't figure that out by sitting on the couch.

I guess my late New Year's resolution is to be a little more reckless and daring. Teddy Roosevelt knew a bit about this, I think. Bully!

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. " - Theodore Roosevelt

I hate the idea of being classified as a "timid soul." That's the opposite of something I want to be. I'd rather be a proud lion. Actually, I'd rather be a planet-eating-freaking Dragon, but I digress. The point is, that's a gut-check. I shouldn't be immobile for fear of failing because failure is natural.  Failure is beautiful. God loves failure. Heck, God loves failures. You don't learn to walk without falling a few times. Failure was never meant to be a permanent condition.

But not failing is an easy thing to do. Not failing is not doing, and that's one thing completely under our control. And being the master of your own life is quite appealing. But we were made for great things, but we'll never figure that out unless we go and let life happen.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Always do what you are afraid to do." Simple, but I think he was on to something. The scariest things I do on a regular basis tend to be the most rewarding. May be it's time to take the leap more often and come what may.