it's been 20 days since my facebook went offline and I must say it's been an interesting journey so far. At first, I didn't think it'd be such a big deal, but after a while, I realized how much of a psychological effect facebook had on me. Quite unexpectedly, I've been over come with almost this sense of loneliness, which I think is positively ridiculous. I attribute this "loneliness" to the lack of "connection" now that facebook is gone, or what we believe is connection. Now that instant access to everyone and there mother isn't on a screen, I can't get a hold of them. I can no longer facebook chat, or cruise over to somebodies page and leave a comment. This is positively silly because none of that is what I would define as an actual connection, but more of an artificial connection. I never even seriously used facebook chat to begin with anyway! It really is kind of scary how facebook seemed to trick my brain into thinking that I was interacting socially with people online, when in actuality I wasn't doing very much interacting at all.
You may be quick to point out that facebook may not be the cause of such loneliness, but I respectfully disagree. I got along fine without facebook, talking to the same number of people on aim as I do now, which is a meager few, but if anything; I interact with more people now on a regular basis than I did before. I have deeper conversations and connections now with people who play a bigger role in my life than I did then, and these are person to person interactions. Not over the phone or in front of a computer. So, honestly, I don't think this is actual loneliness, but may be this "false loneliness," if there is such a thing, that has resulted due to loss of such a big part of life up to now.
A few of you may know that my birthday was earlier this month. May 11th to be exact. Facebook definitely impacted the way I experienced that. On my birthday, the only people to actually wish me a happy birthday were my family members. Now, I'm not crying about this or anything. I honestly don't advertise my birthday, so it wasn't really that big of a blow. (I haven't thrown myself a bday party since I was in elementary school.)It was different though. Usually, thanks to facebook, you are bombarded with a barrage of "Happy Bdays" from everyone and there mother who happened to see the notification on facebook. I always thought that was annoying though, since I would always suspect that they needed facebook to tell them when my birthday was. It wasn't just bad things that came out of this though. One of my students, who does not have a facebook (to my knowledge), wished me a happy birthday a few days before it actually happened. I was stunned/happy to find out that someone actually remembered without having to be told! And this kid wouldn't be categorized as the brightest either! I guess I may be able to categorize a text by a student on the day of as a "happy bday wish," but all she called me was an old man. I guess I'll take it. In any case, that's what I've been looking for. Fostering real, meaningful relationships with out the use of a stupid computer.
I think people categorize these new little social interaction apparatuses as a requirement nowadays. That's dumb. I shouldn't have to have a facebook in order to connect with a person. I was talking to a student of mine last night about dating. He couldn't seem to understand the idea of dating without texting being involved. It was a foreign concept to him. As he put it, "it kind of makes you cherish all the time you have." He went on to say that he and the girl he is "dating" enjoy each others company. Shenanigans. I'm not saying that they don't, I'm just saying that that's kind of funny when the only time they ever see each other face to face and hear each others voice is at school. This is just an example, that of a 17 year old to be exact, but I've found myself thinking and acting the same way before too.
I think people honestly underestimate the power facebook and even texting. I think it's kind of scary. It's integrated itself into our daily lives. It's become a ritual for some people. That's nuts. I would never have guessed how much of an impact facebook had on my life until I got rid of it.
This is where my blog comes in. I've been using this free time to think up stuff for my blog. I love it. I've also come to understand how important my blog is to me. A while back, I came to the conclusion that I'm actually quite forgetful, especially with the important stuff that I've experienced. It's hard for me to recall particular circumstances that have impacted my life. I can only ever recall the emotions, the impact on my life, and the results. I didn't really have material to "tell a story" with. I could just relate feelings. I understand that an easy way to solve this is by recording stuff like that in a journal. I own a journal and I've tried using it on more than one occasion. I just couldn't do it. Then I realized that this blog of mine actually has some pretty deep, life changing stuff on it already. For some reason, I blog about my experiences freely when it feels like pulling teeth when I try to write them down.
I don't hate writing. I love writing actually. I enjoy using big words and forming deep sentences and messages. For some reason though, I just can't keep a journal. I guess this has developed a new found appreciation for my blog. I guess it may be slightly hypocritical of me for being dependent on this virtual collection of writings on the internet when I just severed all connections with facebook, but I think facebook and my blog are two different beasts, and my blog surely isn't replacing my interactions and shaping my world-view at all.
It may sound like I'm crusading against our little social interactions over the web and the phone, but I'm not. I'm promoting awareness, and recording what I've learned while struggling with this stuff. I honestly believe we take this stuff too lightly. I'm not saying we should stop using any of this stuff. Not at all. I'm just saying we ought to be mindful of how we use them and how they are impacting our lives.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I think talking on the phone to a person is definitely more meaningful than chatting with a person via facebook. And by "chatting" I mean wall comments and the like. I may even go as far as saying instant messages aren't as meaningful as over the phone. I don't have a beef with instant messenger though. I never have.
This whole facebook experience; I think it's less of an emotional experience when it's all text based. I'm not saying it can't be completely. I'm sure you can "squeeze some meaning" out of it, but I honestly don't think you can compare text to hearing a persons voice and identifying the emotions as they speak. It's a totally different experience.
That's what I've been saying though. I'm not saying everyone has to remove facebook and the like immediately, I just think we ought to understand how it affects us. I haven't sworn off texting or the internet or any of that either (besides facebook)I'm just a little more mindful of what those things are doing to me.
I guess I haven't made it clear enough, because people can't seem to understand why I would delete facebook. I mean they get almost indignant, thinking it's some kind of sacrilege. I used removing facebook as an example in my own life. I'm working to pursue meaningful relationships in my life. I want them to be something important, and I don't want something like facebook to get in the way. I honestly don't think that's too difficult to understand. I'm sure I didn't need to be so dramatic with it and go and delete my facebook, forcing my friends to connect with me in some unconventional ways now, but I figure if I want to do something, I'm going to go all in. So in all honesty, facebook isn't the real focus here, relationships are.
I think figuring out who you are and becoming comfortable with your personality is a big part of growing up. I've found that I don't need a ton of social connections and Facebook is mostly a waste of time for me. I'm a pretty solid introvert so I know I won't openly converse or go out of my way to talk to people.
I'm going the less drastic route and pretty much locking down my Facebook. I left the pictures I had up, but removed all my info, turned off notifications for everything except events and disabled comments on my stuff. I'll push blog post notifications over, but people won't be able to comment. Removed my Status Update feed in Google Reader and will remove the Facebook app on my phone. Should be good enough for now.
I agree life is to awesome to just rely on facebook to stay in touch but it does have the easier route when it comes to staying in contact with people, and sadly we are in a generation where being lazy is looked up too :/ so in my opinion until people choose to try and create a meaningful relationship in person then why even bother with facebook myspace or anything of the sort if you do NOT actually know them sure we both like the same tv show so we should be friends!!! but if that is the depth of the relationship then it may sound mean but i wouldn't bother to pursue it.
Post a Comment